Sorry, but its gonna be one of those posts...After all the cancer jokes and the lighthearted approach to my 'lucky' diagnosis Im feeling the other side of things today... Im aggravated at trying to keep up with all the work schedule changes, annoyed by my inability to be as easily organized as I try to appear and tired. Exhausted by not having the ability to take a couple of days to just R E L A X.
Every day that I have off, its spent doing legwork for this stupid diagnosis. To top it off the oncologist says "its not really cancer" so then WHY do I have to take Tamoxifen for five years? Why do I have to worry about blood clots, menopause and serious mood swings while on the stuff... to prevent my chances at recurrence of something that ISNT EFFIN CANCER?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Radiation is at closest, one hour away from where I live. So I have to (apparently) go take a 2 hour day travel time to some other town five days a week. I DONT WANNA!
At this point, I'd prefer a mastectomy followed by (of course) reconstructive surgery because it seems that my chances of recurrence would be about the same as taking tamox-MINUS the mental midget side effects Id otherwise have from taking an estrogen blocking drug.
Im not asking why me. Im asking why its a pain in the ass to get treated with ease around here. Why is there no support system for women like me locally in a county that houses over 170 thousand people?? Why is it Jacksonville that boasts to super size Walmarts cant afford to build a cancer center? Hell Id settle for a local GD phone number of someone who put me in contact with the right resouces...
Okay. Im done. for now. Thanks;.
Every day that I have off, its spent doing legwork for this stupid diagnosis. To top it off the oncologist says "its not really cancer" so then WHY do I have to take Tamoxifen for five years? Why do I have to worry about blood clots, menopause and serious mood swings while on the stuff... to prevent my chances at recurrence of something that ISNT EFFIN CANCER?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Radiation is at closest, one hour away from where I live. So I have to (apparently) go take a 2 hour day travel time to some other town five days a week. I DONT WANNA!
At this point, I'd prefer a mastectomy followed by (of course) reconstructive surgery because it seems that my chances of recurrence would be about the same as taking tamox-MINUS the mental midget side effects Id otherwise have from taking an estrogen blocking drug.
Im not asking why me. Im asking why its a pain in the ass to get treated with ease around here. Why is there no support system for women like me locally in a county that houses over 170 thousand people?? Why is it Jacksonville that boasts to super size Walmarts cant afford to build a cancer center? Hell Id settle for a local GD phone number of someone who put me in contact with the right resouces...
Okay. Im done. for now. Thanks;.
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